


Bummed out Birthdays and Bad Baking

by nushiewrites



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Insecurity, Maggots, Self-Esteem Issues, roman's birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nushiewrites/pseuds/nushiewrites
Summary: Roman blew out the single candle he placed on the cupcake he conjured for himself. He smiled bitterly. Another year, another day of disappointment. It was nearing the end of his birthday day, and the other sides still didn’t care. Why would they anyway? He hid himself away too much. He only talked to them when necessary, and when he did, he was a jerk, and they were rightfully jerks right back at him. Of course the other sides didn’t care about something as insignificant as Roman’s birthday.orthe other sides seem to have forgotten roman’s birthday (again)  and roman is sad. but wait, all hope is not lost! it seems like someone does care about him!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Platonic DLAMP
Comments: 10
Kudos: 158





	Bummed out Birthdays and Bad Baking

_Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday dear Roman. Happy Birthday to me._

Roman blew out the single candle he placed on the cupcake he conjured for himself. He smiled bitterly. Another year, another day of disappointment. It was nearing the end of his birthday day, and the other sides still didn’t care. Why would they anyway? He hid himself away too much. He only talked to them when necessary, and when he did, he was a jerk, and they were rightfully jerks right back at him. Of course the other sides didn’t care about something as insignificant as Roman’s birthday.

“Ohhh, Roman!” Remus called rising into Roman’s room without knocking. Roman flinched seeing the other’s signature green. He put his cupcake down on the desk beside him and drew his sword in case there was a need to block an incoming mace. 

“Happy birthday, Remus,” Roman said coldly. 

“I got you a cake, Rom!” Remus said. He giggled as he held it out for Roman to take. Roman took the pink three tiered cake and set it down. He eyed it suspiciously, cut it in half with his sword and watched maggots squirm inside it. Roman turned around and held a hand to his mouth trying not to retch. His face crinkled in disgust.

“Mm, maggots, nice. You outdo yourself every year, Remus,” Roman cringed, grimacing. He painfully laughed as he turned around, using a hand to block the cake out of his field of view, but his attempts were fraught, because Remus was eating the cake with his hands and the disgusting creatures were writhing all over his brother. Roman’s shoulders tensed, and he turned around again. This time, he actually felt a bit of vomit in his mouth that time. 

“Want some?” Remus asked.

“No thanks bro, you can have it all. I appreciate the thought.” Roman quickly conjured a normal strawberry cake for Remus and covered his eyes as he turned around to face his brother. 

“This is for you,” he said. Remus took the cake and set it down on the floor beside him. He smashed it with his mace and looked disgusted. 

“Is this strawberry? What the fuck, that’s disgusting. I think I’m gonna vomit. Oh god, I need to go to my room. Can I take the cake I made you?” 

“Please do!” Roman cried, and Remus did. Roman uncovered his eyes, and relaxed when he saw all that was left in his room was strawberry cake splatter. He snapped his fingers to make the mess of a cake disappear and picked up the cupcake he left on his desk. He couldn’t help but think of maggots crawling around in his treat. He gulped. Remus had really gotten to him this time. “I’ll enjoy this later. Better put it in the fridge,” Roman muttered. 

Finding his way to the side’s shared kitchen, Roman left his room and wandered through the hallways of the mindscape. As he approached the kitchen, he heard a few voices. His hand hovered over the doorknob as he listened. Eventually, he was able to make out who was there: Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Janus. 

“Patton, you’re gonna burn it again if you do that,” Logan said.

“Am not!” Patton rebutted. Virgil laughed. 

“You may be a dad, but your cooking skills are pretty- How do I say this gently?” Virgil asked.

“They’re good. You’re good at cooking anything other than pasta,” Janus lied. Roman heard Patton huff, and his heart fell. 

Roman’s thoughts spiraled, as did his self-esteem. As he walked back to his room, he pondered why the others would exclude him so. Why would they not invite him to a cooking night? They always cooked together! How long had they been doing this without him? Could they really not stand him? Was he not good enough? Would he ever be good enough? 

Roman sighed when he got to his door. He looked at the red, white, and gold decorations he had painstakingly painted years ago and scowled. He hated it. He hated his work and his creations. It looked so disgusting. He scrutinized the door, picking out and filing away in his mind every mistake he found. Every mistake made him feel worse, and he was enjoying this weird form of hurting himself. 

After enough of criticizing himself, Roman entered his room. He set his cupcake down on the same desk as before, sat down on the desk chair, and opened his journal which had been lying there. 

_June 4th_

_No birthday wishes for me this year. Except for Remus of course, but he doesn’t count. It’s his birthday too. But that makes three in a row, I think. I know they stopped caring about me since I became a major jerk, and I haven’t been able to fix that, no matter how hard I try. I see my mistakes everywhere. My door is all messed up. I think I might get rid of it. There are other things I’d like to get rid of, but it’s a dangerous train of thought to go down. It’s strange being self-esteem and having a low one myself. I suppose that means Thomas’s is pretty low too. That’s… not something I like. But being him, I’m not going to get better until he does, and he’s not going to get better until I do. What a vicious cycle._

A knock on Roman’s door startled him from his writing, and he quickly closed the journal and shoved it in a desk drawer. He got up and walked over the door. He took a deep breath and put on his happy face before opening the door. He was surprised to find Virgil on the other side.

“Hey Virge! What’s up?” Roman asked with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Virgil just rolled his eyes and walked inside. He sat on Roman’s spinny desk chair and spun around. 

“Cut the crap, Princey. Your place reeks of fear and… despair?” Virgil tapped his chin, “No, actually I think it’s disappointment.” Roman closed the door and shook his head. 

“My dear brother brought me a cake of maggots. It was horrifying. It’s still a bit touching though,” Roman explained. He walked over to his bed, flopped backwards on it, and closed his eyes. Virgil hummed. “Is that feeling sense why you’re here?”

“Nah, I also got you something. Took ages to get Remus to conjure this and not have some gross trick,” Virgil said. Roman’s eyes shot open. 

“You got me something? What for?” 

“Don’t tell me you forgot your own birthday. That’d be a new low,” Virgil said. Roman’s face flushed. Virgil fished something out of his jacket pocket and threw it at Roman. It hit the prince right in the face and bounced off him onto the bed. Virgil winced as Roman yelped.

“Ow! Why did you think that was a good idea? Thomas isn’t exactly a sports star,” Roman complained. Virgil snickered. Roman picked up the mystery object and looked at it.

“Black lip-”

“Yeah, sorry the lipstick is black. I kept trying to get Remus to make it rainbow, but he could not make anything that bright and full of joy. So we settled on black, and I made sure it was normal.” Roman’s heart flooded with joy and he couldn’t help the big, real smile that appeared on his face. Someone cared. Someone really cared about him.

“You emo, don’t you dare apologize. I love it! Thank you so much!” Roman squealed. He got up and rushed over to Virgil and gave him a big hug. Virgil stiffened up, so Roman let go. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…” Roman poked the other side and grinned even more.

“You like me! Admit it!” Roman teased. Virgil crossed his arms. 

“I’m not saying anything! Anyway, can you help me with something in the kitchen?” 

“Yeah, sure! Lemme just put this on before we go,” Roman said, holding up the lipstick. Virgil nodded, and Roman walked over to his vanity across the room and carefully watched the mirror as he applied the makeup. At the end, he smacked his lips together making a pop! noise and turned around. Virgil smiled.

“It suits you,” he said. Roman beamed.

“Of course it does. I make everything look good!” Roman declared. “C’mon, I’ll go help you in the kitchen now.”

The two left the room and walked side by side to the kitchen, but as the closer they got to the room, the more dread built up in Roman’s core. Sure, Virgil remembered and did something so unbelievably thoughtful for him, and Roman was forever thankful for it. Yet, the other sides had been baking without him. They always did that together. Or at least that’s what they had Roman think. He really was worthless if the others had to lie about baking without him to keep him happy. The pair got to the kitchen door, but Virgil stopped Roman before he went in.

“You sure you’re okay, Princey? I can feel waves of anxiety bounding off of you,” Virgil asked.

“Of course I am! What ever would I be upset about? You know what they say, nervousness and excitement is one in the same,” Roman feigned. He noticed his real smile had contorted itself into a fake smile and made sure to keep it up.

“I don’t believe you. You know it’s okay to feel bad, right?” Roman laughed. 

“Obviously! Even I’m not that stupid.” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“So you think you’re stupid then. Just not ‘that’ stupid.” Roman rolled his eyes. 

“Virgil, there’s no need to worry about me. I know my own worth. I am the ego, after all,” Roman said. Before Virgil could continue this, he walked inside the kitchen and saw Janus, Patton, and Logan surrounded by multiple burned batches of brownies. 

“Oh sh-” 

“Roman!”

“Virgil, you were supposed to keep him out of the kitchen until we gave the signal!”

“What’s going on? Why are you guys hiding things from me?” Roman asked. Janus shrugged.

“Uhh, surprise?” Patton said, picking up one of the brownie batches and handing it to Roman. Roman looked at the brownies that were still in the baking tray and saw the messy icing on them that read ‘Happy Birthday Roman! We love you!’ with a small doodle of a crown next to it. Roman’s fake smile dropped entirely and his mouth was agape in shock. 

“He doesn’t like it,” Virgil said dejectedly. 

“Like it… I- I,” Roman broke out into a grin, “I love it!” He set the brownies down on the counter across from him and engulfed the other sides into a big hug. He felt his eyes get teary and tried to blink them away, but he’d be lying if he said some tears didn’t end up on Janus’s cape. “T-Thank you. So much. I didn’t think…”

“You didn’t think we’d remember your birthday. We’ve forgotten in the past. It was quite awful of us, and we would like to apologize for it, as well as make up for it now,” Logan said. Roman nodded and pulled away from the hug. Everyone else followed and dispersed as well. 

“I know I’ve been a big jerk and I don’t deserve all this…”

“Falsehood. You have been rude or a jerk in the past, but we all have as well. Do you think we don’t deserve to be celebrated because of that?” Logan asked. 

“Obviously not, you guys are wonderful!” 

“See my point?” Roman’s eyes widened. 

“Oh. You guys think I’m wonderful?” Roman asked quietly. Patton enveloped Roman in another hug. 

“Of course we do kiddo!” Patton exclaimed. 

“You’re our hero,” Janus said. Roman closed his eyes and buried himself into Patton’s embrace. 

“Thank you. I love you all so much. Sometimes I forget it’s not a one-sided feeling. So, wanna eat the brownies?” Roman asked. 

“You might wanna conjure some. Who knows how edible those are,” Virgil muttered. 

“Nonsense! You all poured so much time into these. I’m going to eat them!” The five sides brought the tray of brownies to the dining table, sat down, and dug in. The kitchen that night was filled with laughter and cries of disgust asking how brownies could be messed up this badly. 

_June 5th_

_So apparently I was wrong. I got birthday wishes this year from everyone. I woke up today after the little party we had in the kitchen feeling happy. I feel inspired and creative and good. And I think Thomas feels pretty good today as well. Maybe this will be our first step in healing. I sure don’t want this feeling to go away._

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday roman!!! ily king! hope u enjoyed!! i liked writing it! it was wild writing a fic for roman and not leaving him sad at the end, but it’s his birthday and i needed to give him some joy :p (roman stans be like we hurt roman because we relate too hard)


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